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funny i must share.
Posted: 06 Feb 2010, 22:55
by KaiserJ
i brought a girlfriend home from the bar last night, then passed out immediately before any sexytime, true to form.
i woke up around 12 noon to a tapping at my window.
after i went to sleep, she had gone to the upstairs bathroom and shut the door... i had removed the handles of the door for painting purposes... and promptly became stuck.
apparently she was shouting to me from the bathroom, but between my drunken slumber and the password screen music of megaman x3, i didnt hear anything.
so yeah... she managed to jimmy open the window and climb out (pretty impressive, the drop is about 8 feet and the window is small... also there is a screen held in place by screws which she removed with her fingernails) and run around the side of the house to my window in her bare feet after sleeping on a tile floor for 7 hours.
to add insult to her injury, the bathroom was frigging cold as hell... there is a switch to turn on heaters under the tile but she didn't know. pretty awesome, eh? :D
the moral of the story? leave a screwdriver inside a room if you take the doorknob off. oh and dont go home with kaiser after the bar.
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 06 Feb 2010, 23:06
by Forboding Angel
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 06 Feb 2010, 23:30
by Caydr
Wow, hold on to that one. She's so concerned about your house she didn't just take the door down.
Or maybe where you live the doors aren't made of shite and held to the wall by hardened shite.
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 06 Feb 2010, 23:48
by Panda
Poor girl. I think that she should have just kicked the door down. The window thing is possible, but seems a bit dangerous.
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 00:24
by KaiserJ
its quite a sturdy door; solid oak with a large glass window in the middle... not the sort of thing that's easy to kick down
good call though, i should get her a beer! she IS a nice girl, so you are right.
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 00:26
by Jazcash
Did she forgive you?
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 00:48
by KaiserJ
JAZCASH wrote:Did she forgive you?
for what? i fell asleep before i could do anything obscenely biological to her
she wasnt angry... just cold lol
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 09:00
by Wombat
whales in da house !
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 11:23
by Saktoth
KaiserJ wrote:for what? i fell asleep before i could do anything obscenely biological to her
For that. Actually. Also:
a girlfriend
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 11:32
by 1v0ry_k1ng
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 17:31
by Panda
KaiserJ wrote:its quite a sturdy door; solid oak with a large glass window in the middle... not the sort of thing that's easy to kick down
good call though, i should get her a beer! she IS a nice girl, so you are right.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFPwHR_J ... re=channel
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 17:41
by BrainDamage
wait, your bathroom door has a glass window?
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 18:42
by PicassoCT
Its not what you think you think, because he has a hobby, makin doors and cuttin glass for that, you shouldnt make jokes on him, you perverts.
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 19:21
by KaiserJ
you better put a bag of frozen peas on that, mon! lol she can have a beer anyways.
and hey, its not my girlfriend, its just -a- girlfriend. possibly someone elses.
as far as my bathroom door goes; it works out okay... there is a venitian blind on the toilet side of the door that can be raised to let more light into the hallway, which otherwise would be very dark even in the middle of the day
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 19:27
by PicassoCT
moar light, thats a good excuse, every peeping tom should have ready.
Yes, sorry maam, just needed moar light and happened to look at, you know, some enlightment

Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 19:42
by KaiserJ
pshhh thats amateur

if i was going to peep through the window, would i have spent thousands of dollars on hidden cameras and microphones?
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 19:56
by PicassoCT
creepypeepys distraction - odd placed mirrors, strange glaswindows, all there to overlook the tiny spots in the tapestry.
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 07 Feb 2010, 20:08
by Pxtl
For future reference, teach her how to remove the bolt from a hinge. You can do it with the keys in your pocket, if it's too stuck for fingers.
Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 08 Feb 2010, 05:19
by SpliFF
My Way:
Set fire to the door with toilet paper paper and a cigarette lighter. Then either the door burns down enough to break through or the smoke alarm goes off and wakes up KJ. If the fire starts getting out of control you're surrounded by taps and showers so it shouldn't be that hard to make the walls and floor wet enough.
If police charge you with arson say you were drugged by KaiserJ and locked in the bathroom. They'll find the hidden cameras and realise he's a perv who needs to be locked away. Problem solved in much less than 7 hours (and you get free national media coverage to launch your modeling or acting career).

Re: funny i must share.
Posted: 08 Feb 2010, 11:12
by Spawn_Retard

this thread.