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Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 20 Oct 2008, 22:02
by smoth
You need to be more sensitive if you are "studying" people. You are a person, don't be so arrogant.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 20 Oct 2008, 22:19
by manored
smoth wrote:You need to be more sensitive if you are "studying" people. You are a person, don't be so arrogant.
Its not arrogance, its plain naiveness and an unrealistic lack of social skills.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 20 Oct 2008, 23:05
by Forboding Angel
Fyi if it makes any real difference, he was an organ donor, and all of his organs were dead before he died which makes them somewhat useless to anyone else.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 20 Oct 2008, 23:31
by smoth
I recall you posting that at least on the first page.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 01:01
by manored
Forboding Angel wrote:Fyi if it makes any real difference, he was an organ donor, and all of his organs were dead before he died which makes them somewhat useless to anyone else.
It greatly increases my respect for him.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 05:14
by Forboding Angel
Moderators might have to cull this one, because I feel /rage coming on.
You know what really fucks me up? My friend is dead and all you give a flying fuck about was whether he was an organ donor after he had a transplant. Regardless of the fact that only a moron would ask that question in the first place, maybe you should take biology again because organs in troubled transplant patients aren't worth a shit to anyone because their body generally trashes them in the process.
What does "Anti-Rejection Medication" mean to you?
Sigh. I'm sick and I already ran out of steam, how sad is that?
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 05:45
by SinbadEV
My Condolences. I think what you said was an entirely appropriate response.
I remember feeling like everyone who said "Condolences" was a bit of a douche when my dad died... but in retrospect it helped. When you own the grief entirely it's unbearable so just knowing it's shared around seems to help. I'm glad to hear his surviving family will have such caring support... The sad irony is that when a good man dies he's usually touched a lot of lives along the way and thereby leaves those people behind to hold each other up.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 05:46
by smoth
as my mom said, the people you knew live on in you.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 17:16
by manored
So would you prefer me to lie, to pretend I fell sad for the death of someone I do not know? I fell sad only for the family he leaves behind, and for you, but its only the same sadness I fell for the cruel manner of the world. Regardeless I, at your request, dedicated prayers for him and his family, and then, after reading his obituary that mentioned he would be cremated, it came to my mind the doubt of whenever he had donated organs or not, as I felt that if he had remembered those who gave in a second chance I could trully mark him as a nice person in my mind, like you said he was.
But if you want to be consoled, look into your soul and discover that even thought he is gonne you can fell his presence, if you so desire.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 17:25
by Hoi
manored wrote:So would you prefer me to lie, to pretend I fell sad for the death of someone I do not know? I fell sad only for the family he leaves behind, and for you, but its only the same sadness I fell for the cruel manner of the world. Regardeless I, at your request, dedicated prayers for him and his family, and then, after reading his obituary that mentioned he would be cremated, it came to my mind the doubt of whenever he had donated organs or not, as I felt that if he had remembered those who gave in a second chance I could trully mark him as a nice person in my mind, like you said he was.
This is not about you, this is about Kyle.
So would you prefer me to lie, to pretend I fell sad for the death of someone I do not know? I fell sad only for the family he leaves behind, and for you, but its only the same sadness I fell for the cruel manner of the world.
This is the most retarded thing I've ever heared.
Now please stop this, we don't want this thread to be locked becaus of your ego, this thread is not about you, if you want a thread about you, make one.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 17:48
by manored
I speak about myself because mutual-understandement is how conflicts are solved. But I am tired of this.
I assume that providences for this are already arranged, but anyway I will remind again: Its probally a good idea to examine the kid.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 17:49
by smoth
they probably already did that mannored.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 19:03
by manored
smoth wrote:they probably already did that mannored.
So I hope.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 22:40
by Panda
manored wrote:Forboding Angel wrote:Honestly. Why would you even need to ask that question?
I am interested into the behavior of people, sorry if I made a question whose answer is kinda obvious in a bad moment, Im kinda oblivious to how other people think.
In my culture not donating your organs after dead if you received organs is vile, unless the family prevents you that is, or if you forgot/thought you would have more time to tell then/sign the document.
In order to be an organ donor you usually have to die of some sort of brain injury from an accident, your organs have to still be able to function with the help of machines, and must not be damaged or otherwise made unusable by things such as medications.
manored wrote:So would you prefer me to lie, to pretend I fell sad for the death of someone I do not know?
What Forb would like, as he is feeling sad, is for someone to listen and be concerned. He would like responses that have a meaning of, I understand what you are going through and will be supportive of you while you feel sad because your friend died. What he does not want is an emotionless, logical response such as the one I am giving to you right now.
Whether or not you feel that way, understand on an emotional and intellectual level, or wish to respond in such a way is up to you, but you don't appear to be being very considerate. It would be more considerate to address issues having to do with mourning with a response that is not emotionless and, therefore, does not discourage the mourning person from fully accepting the reality of his friend's death. No one's asking you to pretend to feel sad or lie, but a thoughtless, unsympathetic response may repulse the mourner and worsen their grief.
manored wrote:Regardeless I, at your request, dedicated prayers for him and his family,
Simply saying you dedicated prayers to him does not necessarily mean that you understand very well, care, or know what your talking about in relation to his situation especially if your not thoughtful.
manored wrote:and then, after reading his obituary that mentioned he would be cremated, it came to my mind the doubt of whenever he had donated organs or not, as I felt that if he had remembered those who gave in a second chance I could trully mark him as a nice person in my mind, like you said he was.
You are, again, being inconsiderate, meaning that you are not being as thoughtful as you think your being, by not taking into account what his beliefs are in the matter. Doing so is important when you are trying to figure out what your praying for and how to offer you condolences.
manored wrote:But if you want to be consoled, look into your soul and discover that even thought he is gonne you can fell his presence, if you so desire.
Or he could get social support. Just because you think he should look into his soul doesn't mean he has to.
manored wrote:I speak about myself because mutual-understandement is how conflicts are solved. But I am tired of this.
That's good, but you should work more on your understanding by trying harder to correctly matching up your responses with the social situation at hand. Your response is not so right, because it make you appear as though you weren't being thoughtful.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 21 Oct 2008, 22:57
by Forboding Angel
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 22 Oct 2008, 01:28
by manored
Stop posting here, I'm not good at these things either, that's why I have no posts in this thread, take a hint -SwiftSpear
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 22 Oct 2008, 22:06
by daan 79
Sorry to hear.
All the strenth and hope to deal with the loss of your friend.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 23 Oct 2008, 08:21
by REVENGE
My condolences Forb, may your friend rest in peace.
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 29 May 2010, 01:08
by Forboding Angel
Today would have been Kyle's 25th Birthday. R.I.P. Buddy, I miss you!
Re: Our Drummer is in the hospital
Posted: 29 May 2010, 01:28
by SwiftSpear
RIP. It's too young to die
